My girlfriend was raped and contracted Herpes?!

Wow, that is a lot to intake in a short paragraph, but you made your question quite clear and I hope you will avoid any undesirables answering.

!st of all you did every thing 100% right! She couldn't of had such a better boyfriend.

2nd you might want to consider counseling. She needs someone to go to and poor out her emotions without being judged by family or someone she loves. also, you could go to some sessions with her and discuss your feelings as well.

3rd Time will help her ease the pain of being raped. But it will never truly disappear. You just need to support her. Don't rush her into having sex. If you do she'll push you away further and you may regret that later. So far it seems you're doing the correct thing and giving her time to heal.

4th Maybe she could sign up for support groups that have women who were victimized the same way and she could go to that so many times a year. I think those are usually free or low cost. They discuss what happened and they hear about what happened to other women her age, younger, older. It's another option to her not going to a psychiatrist. (Or in addition to.)

Best of luck.
*Hugs* you need it!Health Question & Answer

---

---

I'm sorry to hear that.That must be so hard on both of you.
You sound like a wonderful boyfriend and you care very much for her.
I would suggest writing her a letter. Put down all your thoughts in this letter, tell her you will always be there for her and you will do whatever you can to make her happy. Have her read the letter when she's alone. Some flowers should make it extra special.
Hope that helps!
Good Luck to both of you.Health Question & Answer

---

---

well it takes 2 to tango.what im saying is your girlfriend wanted to be raped on account that she feels sorry for herself in life.no.then take a good look at her in your mind and ask yourself,does she allways put herself down.does she allways mention the negative of what can happen in life.yes.there u go.and also,you wanted to be with a girl who experienced rape.why.?because your with her...fuken victims.people get what they think.Health Question & Answer

---

---

show her this question it explains how u feel about her well and how u feel about her condition it reli shows how much you care about her and love her
im very sorry for wat happened to her and shes truly blessed to hav someone like you whos there to support and care for her its reli nice to hear :-)xHealth Question & Answer

---

---

omg thats awful!

just give her time. But dont shy away for her, let her know that you will never leave her and you will love her no matter what just by keeping her close to you. buy her flowers, write her thoughtful notes. just be the amazing boyfriend you know you are. shes been through alot, she just needs time. good luck<3Health Question & Answer

---

---

from this rape. does she still love you and would she ever have sex if this situation happened to her. just keep telling her your always there for her and is in no rush to have sex even if thats not completely true. just keep her mind on the positve then the negative
hope that helpsHealth Question & Answer

---

---

Tell her you realize the risk, and that none of it matters to you. Take her out to dinner and show her a good time. It doesn't have to have a 'happy ending', but make it like your first date.

Just snuggle allot, and watch some movies ;)Health Question & Answer

---

---

"I have unconditional love for you and will never leave you because you have Herpes." Then hold onto her and say nothing else. Health Question & Answer

---

---

You seem like a really good guy. Just wait I guess. She'll realize where you are coming from. I'm very sorry for what happened, and I truly hope everything turns out okay between you too. Best of luck.Health Question & Answer

---

---

RAPE IS HEARD. SO WORK WITH HER. I HAVE BEN RAPEHealth Question & Answer

---

---

Just wait.. as long as she wants you to, be there for her and always tell her how much you love her. It can take her a while to feel comfortable and safe again. Health Question & Answer

---

---

You need to give her time. When a women goes through rape it is a very sad and disturbing time for her. You have to let her start her healing process. As long as ur still there supporting her that is all that matters at the end of the day once she realises what happen and accepts it she will realize all the support u gave her. U just have to let her do it her way. And do not pressure her she loves u enought not to take a chance. Imagine how she would feel if u then got it cause of her.?.?.? That is what keep running through her mind everytime u talk about it.!!! Your needs are not what is important right now. She just went throught something very horrible. Give her her space and time!!!Health Question & Answer

---

---

Right now sex should be the last thing on her mind. Don't try to rush it. Just be there for her, sex isn't everything, and by you loving her you should know that. The sex will come in do time. But from what I hear people that have been raped, have gone through a trauma, and in her case double trauma. Because she has to live with that disease for the rest of her life. Even though it is not as bad as people say it is, but just to think she caught it from a rape.Just think about what she is going through. Keep telling her that you love her, cause she needs that. Best of Luck!Health Question & Answer

---

---

OH MY GOD, that is so messed up!!! Sucks. That's my worst fear.
There is a rumor you can cure it with coconut oil. You can manage outbreaks, and they will be less frequent. Do some research on it.
You know even if you do get it, you can live with it. I've known a few people who had it. She can also put herbal stuff on it topically.
I'm sure she will come around to you, just give her time to heal and adjust.
You can also work around her outbreaks. Because, sex will be painful, and uncomfortable for her while she is broke out anyway. Try Castor oil on it. Castor oil is great, do some research on it.
Good Luck.Health Question & Answer

---

---

It makes me wonder if she made this story up to clear her name with contracting the virus. This is scary....if it is true. I feel sorry for her. I don't know if I could be with anyone with something like this. I would be turned off by the whole thing.

Good luck....I don't know what to say. Other than leave her alone...don't even think about sex....shes not even thinking about that due to the rape and this whole std thing! Cuddle with her and love her..that's all you can do.

Health Question & Answer

---

---

The sadness for her is overwhelming, she feels like the man that raped her is living inside her now. I know it's silly but thats how it feels. Continue your support, one of the nicest things to do in this situation is not be in her face but be there! Send flowers with a love note and sweet things like that.
She will come around, it might take a while, you are a sweety for being so loving!
You could even go as far as telling her that your friends mother has herpes and her children didn't get the disease through birth and pregnancy, make a mountain so she'll see a mole hill. I know it's not truthfull but my friends mother did and he doesn't have it, and I told u so it's not a lie. You just have to believe me.
Best of luck and love to you both.Health Question & Answer

---

---

Nothing you can do except be there for her and ride it out. She's not going to want to even be around you. Rape is not just a physical thing, but an emotional thing. She's going to be messed up in the head for a long time and no matter what you say it's going to land of deaf ears. She has to work through it on her own. The sad thing is that she may push you away and even leave you. I know you want to be there for her, but the more you try to "force" yourself to her side, the more she's going to start looking at you as a threat and that will make her take flight. There is no easy way to answer your question. It's something that she has to decide. I know women who were raped that sleep every night in their shoes just in case they have to break out running away at the slightest sound. Yes, their husbands or boyfriends try to support them, but you've got to remember in this case, your species is the enemy. It wasn't just some man that raped her, it was a "man", which although you are not that man, you still represent the gender. You have to give her time and space so she can work through it, but at the same time you have to be there for her. I know that sounds crazy, giving her space, but being there for her. It's a woman thing though, men think in logic terms. We see a problem and we correct it the only way we can, by attacking it in order to fix it. Woman see things with more emotion, there is no quick fix for them, they suffer to understand it and who it is going to change them or what it's going to change them in to. But if you love her, you will take my advice and give her space while at the same time being there for her. She has a lot going on inside her and there is nothing you can do to "fix" her right now.Health Question & Answer

---

---

You need to be there for her, as someone to lean on, not a boyfriend. Your girlfriend just went through possibly the worst thing that could happen to her. I'd suggest not trying to have sex-- or even anything like it. She will need some time to get over this shock. But you need to be there for her. Let her cry to you. Talk to her about it, but only when she's ready to. This is a hard time in her life, and she needs you to look out for her in all her struggles. You are a good person for sticking with her through this. Good luck to both of you.Health Question & Answer

---

---

No way man i you could easily get herpes yourself. Condoms don't keep her skin from rubbing on yours. All it is, is skin contact so the parts that aren't covered bye the condom (the base or where the hair is) can get the herpes too.
Plus do you even know the whole story about how she got raped.? She could be saying that because she actually cheated on you and got the herpes.
I wouldn't do this, y'all could be broken up in a coupe years and then your stuck with herpes man. Don't bye into this oh I'm so sweet i would never lie stuff any girl can do that.
Don't be a sucker, raped pffft yeah right. you gotta wonder how she put herself in such a stupid situation in the first place. She could say anything and so could he for an aliby for her.

WHy didn't she scream or fight, why was she alone with the guy.?.?Health Question & Answer

---

---

As a woman I believe that she understands that you can protect yourself from the STD she is putting off having sex she went through a very traumatic rape and now sex is going to be associated with that. You said it has only been a month she really needs a lot more time and a little less talk about having sex it's going to take some time just be there for her for now and maybe you can do the laundry yourself until she decides she's ready let it be her choice. You need to let her be in controll of the situation. Health Question & Answer

---

---

It seems like you already know the answer and that is why your mind is full with doubts on what to say. I think the best suggestion is to say nothing but do something. Go out with her, take her to places she loves, treat her with respect and don't mention sex (she should be the one to ask for it). Might be difficult but in such circumstances this is the best way to demonstrate your affection and commitment. People usually come out of such violence with a lot of hate, freight and mmiss-trustof others. Be different by using the power of action to sspeakfor you. Don't forget REAL LOVE always wins. Health Question & Answer

---

---

It's more of what you do then what you say. You have to show her that she can trust you. Be there for her even if all you can do is comfort her. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. You can try and convince her but it's up to her if she wants to continue with the relationship. Show her that you are still the same person and how much you care about her. Many people will tell you to dump her but you don't have to. If you take some precautions you can reduce your chances of getting herpes. Have a serious private talk with her, tell her how you feel about her even if she has herpes. She probably feels depressed, dirty and ashamed for getting herpes in the first place and wants to push you away so you won't get herpes.
As long as she is on some kind of suppressive therapy and is taking it regularly then your chances of getting herpes are reduced. You should know that herpes can be passed even if condoms are used.
also NEVER have any kind of sex when she has any signs of an out break. She should be honest enough with you.Since she has told you that she has herpes, which is pretty hard for people with herpes to do she should be honest enough to let you know if an out break is coming.
I have oral and genital herpes.Health Question & Answer

---

---

Her fear may be related more to the rape than the herpes, even though she only mentions the herpes as a reason for not wanting to have sex. Having sex with you may trigger memories of the rape. That is a common reaction.

She may also be afraid that she has contracted something else from the rape, which may not have shown up in testing yet. It can take 3-6 months for some STDs to show up on tests.

She may just need more time. A month and a half is not a lot of time to recover from a rape. She may benefit from joining a support group or seeing a counselor individually, if she is not already doing so.

It might be helpful for you to get some counseling as well, so you can get a better understanding of what she is going through and how you can help her. There may be a group for relatives or significant others of rape victims in your area.

For now, spend time with her, and if she will let you, give her hugs and kisses. Health Question & Answer

---

---

i have noticed alot ofpeople here are sayiing buy her flowers and cards. flowers and cards wontget rid of the feeling that she was betrayed and taken advantage of by the male race. even though it was jsut one guy, she may feel scared of al men, including you. i am so sorry this has happened to you and i feel so bad for you gf. just give her time, maybe suggest therapy but ont force her into anything. if she leaves u,, u should accept she needs space and thats what she wants and she wilprobably come back to you when she has healed. i can promise you one thing. she will never ever ever forget being raped. time can help, but not fully heal.
hpe i help and good luck. again i am so sorry this happened to you :(
Health Question & Answer

---

---