Why do many people feel that abused women stay in these relationships because they "like being abused?"?!
Question: Why do many people feel that abused women stay in these relationships because they "like being abused.?".?
My brother and I were talking today about a woman I know that is abused. He was very adamant in saying that these women stay because they like being treated this way. I insist that the only reason they stay is that their self esteem is so low, they see no way to leave.
I used to be an abused wife.
*What are your thoughts on this topic.?
*Can you give me any links to information on this phenomenon.? Especially from women who have escaped this ugly cycle.?
ThanksHealth Question & Answer
I used to be an abused wife.
*What are your thoughts on this topic.?
*Can you give me any links to information on this phenomenon.? Especially from women who have escaped this ugly cycle.?
ThanksHealth Question & Answer
Answers:
Women don't stay because they like the abuse. Remember the abuser doesn't show their abusive side early in the relationship. They charm you first and get you to trust them before the abuse starts.
The woman will have low self esteem but also will have fear, embarrassment, shock, disbelief, and confusion. All at once. They are shocked at first when the first abusive strike comes down. Some women don't know how they didn't "see" any of this behavior before marrying this person that's where the confusion comes in. also the abuser will show his true self behind closed doors. On the outside world the abuser is polite, charming, friendly etc. No one is aware what a cold blooded cruel individual he truly is.
Another thing is that the abuse victim will try to "talk" about it but some people do turn their backs on them. So the abuse victim feels alone in this situation and doesn't know how to get out of it. He will also be threatening her, the children (if they have any), and her family members and friends. They also abuse any pets they have at the home.
I know this because I was in an abusive relationship. Not once did I enjoy any of the abuse. I tried talking to people and they turned their backs on me. Everybody thought that I was married to a "nice" guy. Funny, charming etc. But what no one knew was that he hit me. He tore my clothes off, bruised my eyes, my lips, my life. He threatened to hurt me, our children, my family, friends, police, pets anything and anyone. Destroyed furniture, and anything that was in his path. It took me 16yrs to leave but I did. I am raising three children on my own but let me tell you I am doing it. No one will be able to do that to me again!! Because I have learned so much.
Tell your brother if he would like to be enlightened to call the national domestic abuse hot line they will give him all of the information that he needs. also he should volunteer at a women shelter so he can see and hear it himself. Hopefully with the knowledge that he gains he will be a better person for it. Hope this helps you out some. Have a good day.Health Question & Answer
The woman will have low self esteem but also will have fear, embarrassment, shock, disbelief, and confusion. All at once. They are shocked at first when the first abusive strike comes down. Some women don't know how they didn't "see" any of this behavior before marrying this person that's where the confusion comes in. also the abuser will show his true self behind closed doors. On the outside world the abuser is polite, charming, friendly etc. No one is aware what a cold blooded cruel individual he truly is.
Another thing is that the abuse victim will try to "talk" about it but some people do turn their backs on them. So the abuse victim feels alone in this situation and doesn't know how to get out of it. He will also be threatening her, the children (if they have any), and her family members and friends. They also abuse any pets they have at the home.
I know this because I was in an abusive relationship. Not once did I enjoy any of the abuse. I tried talking to people and they turned their backs on me. Everybody thought that I was married to a "nice" guy. Funny, charming etc. But what no one knew was that he hit me. He tore my clothes off, bruised my eyes, my lips, my life. He threatened to hurt me, our children, my family, friends, police, pets anything and anyone. Destroyed furniture, and anything that was in his path. It took me 16yrs to leave but I did. I am raising three children on my own but let me tell you I am doing it. No one will be able to do that to me again!! Because I have learned so much.
Tell your brother if he would like to be enlightened to call the national domestic abuse hot line they will give him all of the information that he needs. also he should volunteer at a women shelter so he can see and hear it himself. Hopefully with the knowledge that he gains he will be a better person for it. Hope this helps you out some. Have a good day.Health Question & Answer
Sometimes a woman will stay in an abusive relationship because she has no "marketable skills". Which means that she doesn't have the necessary skills to get a job. Some have the misguided conception that their children need a father in their lives. Some say that, despite the treatment they get at home, they still love their husband. There are too many reasons to list. The saddest thing is that a lot of them cannot be talked into leaving. The scary part for them is being alone.
This person is not happy. The best you can do for them is to be near to help when they are ready to make a change for the better.Health Question & Answer
This person is not happy. The best you can do for them is to be near to help when they are ready to make a change for the better.Health Question & Answer
*What are your thoughts on this topic.?
I think it comes from a weak sense of self, which leads to low self esteem and lots of other things. If you don't believe and trust yourself before anyone else, and if you don't know who you are as a solo person, you're going to have problems.
*Can you give me any links to information on this phenomenon.?
Eh sorry, just typing from my head
Especially from women who have escaped this ugly cycle.?
I was abused as a child, My mom has been abused in both of her marriages.
OH..
And no one likes being abused in that way. No one.Health Question & Answer
I think it comes from a weak sense of self, which leads to low self esteem and lots of other things. If you don't believe and trust yourself before anyone else, and if you don't know who you are as a solo person, you're going to have problems.
*Can you give me any links to information on this phenomenon.?
Eh sorry, just typing from my head
Especially from women who have escaped this ugly cycle.?
I was abused as a child, My mom has been abused in both of her marriages.
OH..
And no one likes being abused in that way. No one.Health Question & Answer
i think they stay because they feel that they might have no where to go or there scared to leave because if they get caught he might kill them. its also a mental thing after your an a abusive relationship for so long you get used to being treated like that u start to think that you don't deserve any better after you've been told over and over again that your a failure you'll nvr make it you start to believe it its a emotional & physiological thing. you can only truly understand what that person is going through unless they you are in your shoes.Health Question & Answer
They stay in an abusive relation for the same reason as the Guys stay in as abusive relationship. Don't know any better.Health Question & Answer
because they are retardedHealth Question & Answer
why would anyone lke to be abused.?Health Question & Answer
Many may have been abused as children or seen their mothers abused. If that is all you know it is a hard cycle to break. Some may stay because their abusers make them think they can't get along without them. Going back to my first point if they grew up with that they may equate abuse with their partner's love for them, or their partner may give them the excuse that they wouldn't hurt them if the women didn't make them angry. A lot of times the man will turn the blame back to the woman. also sometimes there is no safe place to go and the woman fears being hurt more or even killed. While there are battered women's shelters the programs are no where near good enough. They usually have a time limit on how long the woman can stay and when you are dealing with a severely broken woman that is not enough time for her to heal, find a job, and become self supporting.Health Question & Answer
Your brother is very ignorant and he deserves a serious wake up call.
also, it's not all about self-esteem. A man, especially a smart one, can easily take a woman who is full of self-confidence and ruin that and turn her into his own little play toy. The important thing to understand is that women who are abused often suffer serious psychological damage. The more they are abused, the more their mind retreats into itself to protect itself, so more often than not, women simply can't see a way out of being abused. They may think they are a "bad wife" and therefore, deserve it, or that their husband really does love them and that is how he shows his love or that they won't be able to afford to live on their own, so they need their husband. None of these have anything to do with self-confidence. I'm quite certain there are beautiful, strong women walking around everyday that go home to an abusive husband, simply because she loves him. A mind has a funny ability to distort reality and make an abuser seem like Prince Charming.
Either way, women who have been abused have been seriously damaged beyond the physical bruises you can see and people need to be considerate of that when trying to form relationships with them.Health Question & Answer
also, it's not all about self-esteem. A man, especially a smart one, can easily take a woman who is full of self-confidence and ruin that and turn her into his own little play toy. The important thing to understand is that women who are abused often suffer serious psychological damage. The more they are abused, the more their mind retreats into itself to protect itself, so more often than not, women simply can't see a way out of being abused. They may think they are a "bad wife" and therefore, deserve it, or that their husband really does love them and that is how he shows his love or that they won't be able to afford to live on their own, so they need their husband. None of these have anything to do with self-confidence. I'm quite certain there are beautiful, strong women walking around everyday that go home to an abusive husband, simply because she loves him. A mind has a funny ability to distort reality and make an abuser seem like Prince Charming.
Either way, women who have been abused have been seriously damaged beyond the physical bruises you can see and people need to be considerate of that when trying to form relationships with them.Health Question & Answer