He acts like we're in a relationship but says we're not...why do men do this?!


Question: He acts like we're in a relationship but says we're not...why do men do this.?
I met this guy in school 2 semesters ago. I really like him, I know he likes me. After graduation we stopped talking, then he responded to a text message I sent him one day randomly. He came over to my apartment, things got hot - that was a few weeks ago. He works 6 days a week and I usually see him on his day off, he lives two hours away but he always manages to come see me. We watch movies, go out, drink wine, he usually stays the night. We have so much fun together. I don't know what he thinks of me or how he sees me. When I asked him if he was seeing anyone else, he said he wasn't and that he wouldn't come over if he was, and i totally believe him, he's an honest person. He told me he didn't want a relationship or a girlfriend but I feel like I am his gf especially if he refuses to see anyone else while he is seeing me. He said he plans to go into the air force soon and it wouldn't be fair to me. But he's so fickle, he's always changing his mind about everything, I just don't know. Why does he say one thing and act like the opposite.?Health Question & Answer


Answers:
My guess would be.. He probably wants to be a really close friend who wants to have fun and do all the things a girlfriend and a boyfriend would do, but he just doesn't want to get into a relationship in that way. He just loves having fun with you as great friends...

But then you did mention that hot part... So I don't know.

I would say wait abit and see how things turn into.. You did say he likes changing his mind alot :pHealth Question & Answer

He's just after the fun times. He doesn't want to feel obligated to explain when he up and leaves. It's the same as a guy picking the worst, ugliest thing to get out of going shopping or doing a lousy job at the housework to get out of doing it. He will reap what he sows.Health Question & Answer

without reading your lengthy question and just focusing on your main one, the answer is easy. To get the benefits (sex) of being in a relationship without the obligations. Health Question & Answer

its not fair to say "men" not all of them do this, but he personally is just playing games with you. find someone who isnt going to waist your time. Health Question & Answer

hes a guy thats why.Health Question & Answer

trying to be a playerHealth Question & Answer

He's afraid of commitment. There's no way you're going to hook him when he keeps spitting out the bait. You need to drop him like a hot rock & find someone that appreciates you for who you are. This guy is too immature. Doesn't know what he wants or what he wants to do. You hit the nail on the head when you said he is so fickle. You don't need fickle - you need stability. He needs to go into the Air Force where he can learn discipline.Health Question & Answer

I can talk by my experience. When a man says he does not want a relationship believe him. In some cases is different. Try to keep off. Don't get to close or expect anything from him. You don't know about this type of guy. Don't talk to him about relationship, some guy pull away, for some reason they get scare. He having fun with you and he is comfortable in that situation. But what about you, May be I'm wrong but I don't think your are in his plan. If is not fair to you because he going to air force why does he come to stay with you, that's is no fair to you either. I don't what else to tell you but I would keep moving on and get a little distance. I hope everything work out and you be happy. God only knows what is good for you. I spent 7 years with some one like that and today I regreat so much. He never got married and I lost all that time thinking he was going to change.Health Question & Answer

he's obviously playing games with you. he probably does have a girlfriend or a wife. its when guys do all the girlfriend things with you but tell you they dont want a girlfriend and that they will be moving (very far away from you) that you know he's trying to get what he wants and then he's going to ditch you. he only wants what he can get, superficial and he is going to drop you as soon as he gets bored. but blame it on work or joining the airforce/living too far away and etc. see if he has a girlfriend. if he doesnt answer his phone anytime you ring or certain times of the days its when he's with someone else. drop and run, but make sure you let him know you have a hot supportive boyfriend who cares about you and wants to spend time with you. i work 6 days a week but i still find time for the people i care about and my boyfriend.

believe me, ive hung around the "flyboys" before and its a waste of time. use condoms whatever you do.Health Question & Answer

What you have is a friends with benefits arrangement, dear, although you don't realize it. He's not said he's refusing to see anyone else, only that he isn't at the moment. Your company is enjoyable, no doubt- but you don't exactly have a committed relationship. In fact, he's told you that you are not a part of the equation when it comes to arranging his life. His plan to join the Air Force is not including taking you along. He has given you a pretty plain picture, here. He enjoys your company, but he's not convinced you are a part of the big picture. I don't see this arrangement changing honestly, he's got no reason it should. He's already said he doesn't want a girlfriend or relationship, which puts where you stand pretty clear to see. No dear, you aren't the girlfriend you are hoping to be. You are friends with bennies. If that's not what you have in mind, it's time to move on. He bit the bait, not the hook.Health Question & Answer

Well you got to look at it from both points of views because to you it might look like he is lying and to him it could be the phobia of commitment so you have to take everything into consideration... than there is also the whole "friends with benefits" in every guys head so be careful with him and try not to waist your time if you dont think its going anywhere.... Health Question & Answer



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